Kim & Wes | An Adoption Journey

As most of my clients know, both of my children came into our family via adoption as newborns. Lately, while photographing expecting mamas at their maternity sessions I had wondered why didn't I think of an 'expecting' session for myself ~ a session that captured my husband and I at our stage of anticipating new life arriving in our family.

So, I talked with Kim about her adoption journey and expressed how much I would love to provide them an 'expecting' photo session to capture them as they are now anticipating new life joining their family. 

Certainly one of the harder aspects of adoption is the unknown. Working with a great agency is the first step in gaining understanding and confidence. Rarely does a couple know when their baby will arrive or even from which state they will be born. The call could come a week after you become an actively waiting family, a month, or longer. Just when you least expect it - the call WILL come. Because now you are at a stage where there is uncertainty WHEN but a guarantee that it WILL happen. It doesn't mean that loss and unexpected bumps will still not occur. It doesn't mean that the heart won't still be guarded. But it does mean that a peace has been found and a plan is in action.  

For some couples it might be too hard to plan and prepare for a baby - even after they have made the decision to adopt. But if you are able to ~ it can be a joyful time of dreaming of your future ~ preparing for that future. Now it is a matter of WHEN not IF. 

My husband and I had planned a nice vacation on Lake Tahoe right before we were planning to become an actively waiting family with our adoption agency for our son {our first born}. But, we received a call asking us if we were ready to be parents before we were even actively waiting. A sweet baby boy had been born six hours away and was ready for us. We hadn't become an actively waiting family yet - but it was meant to be. So vacation was squashed for something a bit sweeter. 

Having baby in arms is not the end of the journey. It is really still only the beginning. The beginning of a life long commitment and responsibility. The same as any other parents but with an added commitment to helping our children navigate the world of adoption as well ~ secrecy that still exists, an uneducated public that makes hurtful comments {unintentionally} and helping our children maintain information and a connection to their roots: birth or biological families. It's walking a balance beam of being a good parent ~ making the best possible decisions ~ guiding our children ~ keeping our hearts open.

It is a tough journey but having an understanding and loving partner by your side, a supportive family and friend base makes it all possible. 

 There is nothing wrong with feeling joyful, hopeful and excited. There is nothing wrong with expressing that with the world. Like any family expecting, of course there are fears ~ they might be in a different form but they still exist. Some couples feel guarded from all they went through that led them to the decision to adopt. Some couples don't want to hear comments and opinions from the public that are uneducated and hurtful {I'll allow you to google, hurtful comments made to adopting couples to better educate yourself instead of posting them here}.

There is nothing wrong with being excited and happy to be adopting or knowing someone that is adopting. But there is a reality that parents via adoption know exists and emotionally manage as they are joyful at the new life in their arms. They are grateful eternally to the woman who gave that child life and chose them to parent. 

The next time I capture this image, a baby will be in the chair. The portrait will be complete. 

One could debate all day about the fees that are required to complete an adoption. But the fact is that there are expenses when hiring a competent agency, lawyers, home study providers. There are expenses involved when ensuring your agency has separate staff that manages insurance issues, nationwide legal compliance, maintaining lawyers on retainer in all states, having licensed social workers to support the adopting family, licensed social workers to support the biological family, and counseling services available for the biological family before and after birth/adoption.

Many women choose adoption because they do not have the financial means to parent a child. It is a simple fact. It doesn't make them irresponsible. On the contrary, they are making a very responsible choice in seeking parents that can provide on a day to day basis consistently everything a child needs to thrive. Each state has a set limit or guideline of expenses in which an adoptive family can assist with. These expenses, known as birth parent expenses or living expenses, are housing, food, transportation {such as going to the doctor} and utilities. Keeping the mother safe and healthy is in the best interest of the child. In some states, or with some agencies/law firms that expense might be $1,000 but in other states that could be $12,000. This is an expense on top of everything else.

Kim and Wes have set up a Go Fund Me account to help them raise the final amount for their adoption.

Please consider providing a donation to help Kim and Wes as they move forward with their adoption. 

I can't wait until the next time I post for this couple ~ we'll be capturing their baby's new images. 

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